Sunday, March 23, 2008

Day One & Ciggie-Deprived

I am fully charged up thanks to the amazing sermon at this morning's Easter service. PTL for that. Seriously. That should really set the pace for the rest of the day right?

Yes.

And no.

There are still insensitive souls out there who lacks the smarts to identify the subtle nuances of a fellow human being's feelings, emotions, not to mention lack of courtesy, manners and plain consideration.

Am I being touchy at people because I am ciggie-deprived ... or am I being touchy because people are being insensitive and inconsiderate because I am ciggie-deprived.

If your friend or family member is quitting ciggies, and OMG at least for the first day, would you at least do either of the following:
  • (a) go to a non-smoking place for lunch (duh)
  • (b) let the poor ciggie-deprived quitter choose the lunch venue of her choice
  • (c) do not smoke in front of the ciggie-deprived person (double, triple duh duh duh)
  • (d) spend time distracting or encouraging the person so she won't think about the subject matter
  • (e) all the above?

Tsk tsk tsk. Go figure. Not everybody is born with smarts, or consideration. I am ciggie-deprived and suffering from serious withdrawal symptoms, and yet guess what I am to put up a SMILE and pretend that this is the easiest thing in the world to do.

But I just discovered that hot coffee (thanks mum) and pecan oat bars are worthy substitutes.

So how do I spend the rest of my Easter Sunday? I had a nice facial after lunch. I am now apparently (pretty much to my own ignorance) sitting in a dark and musty cyber cafe. Why am I here? I am under the impression that I have to rush here to pick up a certain someone but alas I am told to come in, wait here and log on lah while you are at it.

Wait a second there, did I say I want to log on? How presumptuous. Tsk tsk. Did you even check if I have plans, or if I have something to do? Or maybe I feel unwell or I feel sleepy? No. Whatever it is, it is in your presumptuous mind, not important at all.

What do I do? If it was just anybody on any given day, I would gladly give them a piece of my mind; I would stand up for myself and refuse to be taken for a ride... but as it is Easter and not just anybody ... I c.o.m.p.l.y. .... hence this melodramatic post. But seriously, people should NOT take each other for granted.

My mind churns with various options of sweet vindictive thoughts. Alas, the Lord says "vengeance is mine" and who am I to deprive God of such a a pleasure.

This is the right thing to do, say "I am not done yet, I need another 2 hours, 3 hours, 48 hours, please come at such and such a time" this would be very kind so that I can plan my activities and do my own stuff and I will come at an appointed time. It's seriously plain MANNERS and COURTESY lah .... seriously.

As it was not my intention to sit here after a nice shower on Easter Sunday, I resent being here, there a few things I can imagine I could be doing now:
  • (a) catch up on work
  • (b) surfing at home (in the COMFORT of home, sigh)
  • (c) reading Sophie's World in bed
  • (d) cleaning room
  • (e) watching TV
  • (f) playing with puppy
Instead I am here.

Why am I here?

Did I ask to be here?

I have no idea.

I am listening to guys playing mindless PC games and shouting expletives in various languages all over the place ... &%$#@&. All I can say is, I do not care how certain people wish to spend their precious weekends, Easter weekends, first day of quitting ciggies etc ... but as you can imagine that this is a rather significant weekend to me and I can really think of a thousand things I would rather be doing. And I am GLAD to even be ALONE.

Perhaps I am selfish, the world does not revolve around me and my ciggie-deprived state of being. Alas.

I suppose we have to make certain sacrifices in life. This is my road to walk.

After this I do deserve Patchi chocolates. I am a drama queen. I am on a caffeine high and ciggie-deprived and sitting here by coercion. So indulge me.

So everyday we need to carry our cross, die to ourselves, and ask the good Lord to help us "forgive those who offend us" ... and HELP me God indeed.

3 comments:

Mrs Top Monkey said...

Shortcake baby, after reading this, I will 110% bring you and Totoro-bit some Scripture Mints from Jakarta. You can distract yourself by reading the Bible quotes on the packaging!

Clarence Chan said...

Hi there,

Great blog! Another way to stay in touch with you.

Your flesh might be weak but your spirit is strong, and that's the most important thing. It's time for your spirit to overcome your flesh for good in this area.

My dad managed to quit smoking after 30+ years of the habit. One day he just decided to stop (and he wasn't even a Christian at that time). I still vividly remember the scenes of him drowsy, asleep most times, at times grumpy...but he stuck with it and from that day until the day of his death, he never touched another stick. I am very proud of him.

6 months before he passed away, my dad became a Christian. I'm looking fwd to seeing him again in glory someday.

Go for it, dear...so proud of you!


Clarence

Shortcake said...

thanks u dear kind souls for your support and encouragement... I really need it now :) *hugs* **sniff**