Stupid Questions & Remarks

Throughout my pregnancy and after, I've encountered alot of ridiculous questions and remarks. In fact I've got one post on some of the weird things people say when they discovered I was pregnant here. 

Well, after you give birth it doesn't get easier, firstly you are bombarded with endless visitors ranging from families, relatives, friends and colleagues who then decided to bring their spouses, cell members, children, golf buddies etc to witness your "just gave birth look like hell no makeup bad hair face" and brand new baby who is probably shocked to be suddenly outside the comfort of the womb and have to deal with many a staring face. Plus your nether regions are on fire with pain that is unspeakable as the epidural and painkillers slowly wear off and you are dying for a shower, bed pan, morphine, whatever, plus your emotions are highly unstable and you are physically and mentally TIRED beyond words, yet you have to smile at an endless stream of visitors and entertain questions to infinity. or all you wish to do is hold your newborn child in your arms and enjoy the moment but NOOoooooooo ..... *sheeessshh*

Well, most people are extremely thoughtful and lovely and they just want to congratulate us, share our joy and see the new baby. But some of these visitors come bearing remarks that can actually be quite unkind, offensive and insensitive, or just plain annoying. I decided to list some that I've personally encountered lately here so that (a) we don't repeat it and risk irritating the sh*t out of others AND (b) don't come and annoy me with these questions and remarks as well.

Here are some I encountered (for real, not making it up):

1. Are you in alot of pain? What do you think??? This came from a young girl who has yet to birth a  child so I will forgive this remark LOL!
2. You look tired. *duh*
3. Why is your labor so long? Followed by a detailed victorious story of how their labor was so wonderfully short, painless and effortless. OMG what is there to compare? It this really necessary?
4. How come your baby is so SMALL??? Followed by serious bragging of how their baby was 4 freaking kg and their success story at bringing forth a gigantic fetus through an almost instant vaginal birth. Oh God seriously? Are we bragging about the weight of the baby???
5. How come you need to use a vacuum when your baby is only 2.83kg? I just wish I can say "get lost lady, get outta my face" and I wonder why I'm even having this conversation with you.
6. During my pregnancy I didn't put on THAT much weight as my baby was good at absorbing the nutrients. At this point I'm just wondering what she's implying; that I'm too fat yet my baby is small and somehow my baby did not absorb the nutrients? Meaning what? I'm a bad mother stealing all the good stuff from my own fetus? Gosh lady, you need some serious lessons in tact, and this coming from a so-called matured woman in her forties.
7. Epidural is not good, you will get backache in years to come. Seriously, think about it, we all know that, don't you think anyone in their right sound mind won't want to avoid this if possible, obviously it was not like an easy choice to make. And unless you can say you knew the pain I went through, you have no right to judge the labor decisions I made.
8. Why didn't you just opt for Cesarean? This came from some clueless guy who probably think all women should go c-section so that the vaginal regions are unmarked and unscathed by childbirth. This is due to pure ignorance, a sad lack of education. Think about it, nature and God intended for a vaginal birth. A c-section, in most cases, is necessary due to medical complications and emergencies. Of course lately alot of women are opting for elective c-sections for vanity / convenience sake (and I say this without any judgement whatsoever, each to her own), so I guess we can't blame these guys for thinking it's the norm.

Well, maybe a new mother is super emo, sensitive and highly defensive during the first few days and weeks, and I think she has every right to be, given that her body, mind and soul is going through quite a lot after bringing forth a new baby into the world, and everyone is different in every way. I don't see what's there to loose by exercising some consideration, kindness and tact. I mean, after all you came to visit me and my baby, so why is it suddenly all about YOU and YOUR big fat baby and YOUR very smooth easy labor and birth? I'm not interested. I'm tired, in pain, and drugged out, the last thing I need is to hear your bragging-baby-stories. And please stop making comments about my baby being small or whatever negative nonsense. My ob-gyn confirms the baby is a good size for me and he is healthy, whole and just perfect in every way.

Ultimately the main objective is that the baby came safe and sound and perfectly formed, and that the mother is also well and alive. I know my true friends are happy for us and really, that's all that matters. At moments like this what we need are people who are kind and supportive and respect our decisions. We have no room in our lives for those who are here to pass judgement and unkind nonconstructive remarks.

My Labour Story

Everyone, well not everyone, mainly fellow mothers and mothers-to-be have been asking alot of questions about the labour and how it went and all kinds of detailed questions to the point that it's really quite tiring, hence I will detail it down here so that I need not repeat it again and again like a broken record on rerun. Furthermore I noticed my tolerance level and hormonal impatience which I developed during pregnancy has not diminished whatsoever. So here forth I will direct all Q&A on my labor to this blog post haha I'm so mean I know. To be honest at this point, I hate talking about the labor, maybe because it was quite horrific an experience plus not enough time has passed for me to look back and laugh at it yet.


But for everyone's benefit, I will make it short and succinct in point form here ...

2nd Sept 2010, Thursday

• Arrived at the hospital in the afternoon for a check up as I was leaking for 2 days and my discomfort was mounting to the point I can barely walk.
• They did an internal and strapped me up on the EFM (electronic fetal monitoring) and decided that I need to be admitted as the leaking cause me to be at risk for an infection and apparently the EFM shows slight contractions at 4 minutes apart.
• My ob-gyn was out of the country for conference so I was being attended by another doctor who was great as well, very understanding and gentle.
• I explained to the labour team I did not want to be induced (Pitocin via IV) nor do I want an epidural, they respected my wishes and worked around that.
• Throughout the day and night, there was still no progress in terms of cervix dilation despite continuous leaking and stronger contractions by evening.
• Towards the end we agreed to go with a milder form of induction i.e. Prostaglandin, inserted into the cervix to see if we can speed things up.
• Needless to say I was very tired and achy from being poked and prodded the whole day and night.

3rd Sept 2010, Friday

• No progress, Doc was getting abit worried, we decided to burst the main water bag because the leakage was from the 'hind waters' apparently.
• After the main waters were broken, the contractions became super duper unbearable.
• Yet I tried to resist further medical intervention, hubby and I have very strong misgivings about getting an epidural due to all the horror stories and potential side effects, but at this point, it's not the time for me to be a hero anymore as the baby may risk distress due to prolonged labour and contractions. 
• After four tearful and unspeakably unbearable hours of pain, we gave into the epidural as the cervix still refuse to dilate despite the incredibly strong contractions. I decided here that whatever I've read in theory on labor and birth is bullshit crap and I've overestimated my own threshold of pain; tattoo and belly piercing is no indicator of one's pain threshold *duh*
• Also, Doc says at the rate the cervix is behaving, it's gonna be many many hours of pain with very little dilation, he doesn't think I can make it, I concur totally.
• By evening, around 6pm or so, we relented and started the epidural. It was like heaven, seriously. I felt like I could suddenly breathe again and actually lie down still and rest for abit.
• I was still being poked and prodded, they are forever checking my cervix dilation *ouch* but thankfully, the epidural lets me feel nothing. That night, I could sleep properly.

4th Sept Friday.

• Just past midnight or so, the contractions somehow stopped, dilation was about 3cm, they decided to go with Pitocin via IV.
• Even that took longer than normal, it was almost 11 hours before we got to 8 or 9cm I think.
• By 6:45am, the midwives and nurses decided I'm ready, they got the Doc in and we got ready for the baby.
• By 7:44am; Praise God, finally Baby Lucas was born (whole and healthy at 2.83kg) after almost 45 mins of assisted pushing and vacuum towards the end (the epidural affects the ability to push plus the momma was super duper tired, seriously)
• When Lucas was placed on my chest, all bloody and cord intact, it was such a precious moment that cannot be described, all I think of was "OMG we did it!" and I was in such awe and disbelief at this cute tiny human being that came out from me under there! No amount of reading and preparation can prepare you for that sensation at seeing your child emerge from inside you. And he looked so very perfect, he is everything I hoped and prayed he would be.

So there you go; my first ever labor and birth experience. If you've seen my birth plan in an earlier post, you would realize that it just went out the window like ashes to the wind! Oh well, some plans are made to be broken, but ultimately we are grateful we managed to have the ultimate objective; to have a safe vaginal birth; despite all the medical interventions which we tried so hard to avoid. Yup, I was also subject to an episiotomy *sob*sniff*sob* and it's still smarting like hell right now.


However, I must say the Doc and staff nurses were very supportive of my Birth Plan and they even allowed me to try to deal with the process and the pain which is why it took so long. They did not compel, force nor coerce me to do anything I was not ready to do and I was well consulted on all procedures. I was impressed and thankful of the experienced and professional labor team at Pantai KL, these ladies knows their stuff, I was really well taken care of.


My dear hubby was amazing, I was impressed he was able to face the entire birthing process and cheering on with the nurses for me to "PUSH"! He was even steady enough to catch some really good photos. Cheers to the new Daddy!


Two hours after that, we were admiring the brand new baby all cleaned up and swaddled in the cot. Hubby and I were in absolute awe and wonder that we "produced" such a beautiful creature; it's truly a miracle, by the grace of God. Then we looked each in the eye, exhausted, relieved and ecstatic and we both had an instant mutual understanding ... next it'll be a dog or cat to accompany our precious sweet Baby Lucas :)


Well, in retrospect, I would say I should not have gone into the hospital so soon despite the leakage and discomfort and I should have waited abit more; like 2 more days. But then again, truth be told, I was so eager to have the baby, I was getting quite impatient, plus I was subconsciously pressured by everyone bugging me about why is the baby so late. Looking back, I would not give a rats ass about what anyone says anymore; it's not their body, it's not their baby, and I would advise the same to any mums-to-be; trust your own body, trust your ob-gyn and don't be pressured unnecessarily by well-meaning people around you.

Anyway, what's done is done, we believe in God's perfect timing and everything works for good for those who love Him. Besides, who would know how long should I wait and what further signs should be sufficient before it's time. I guess ultimately, God was in control of the situation and it was how it was intended to be. So all praises to Jesus for bringing forth sweet baby Lucas into our lives.

Waiting & Anticipating

Alas, time is up but baby is still not checking out from Le Mummy's Bump. Waiting and anticipating yet nothing is happening. I know God's timing is always perfect and the baby will choose his own birthday but this is totally killing me.

I will bury my phone the next time it beeps with another concerned "Is baby here yet" message. Sigh, I know I'm blessed with wonderful friends who actually remember the due date and are genuinely concerned. I do love all my friends and I appreciate them but I'm not in a right frame of mind now. In fact I have taken to turning my phone on SILENT and going completely OFF Facebook and Messenger until Baby arrives. Call it a social hibernation, whatever, I am just so damn xien.

And poor hubby is inundated with "Have your wife delivered yet?" at the office all week. Looks like he has to put up with that for a few more days. Thank God no idiot has ventured to the "Why so late wan?" follow up comment after hearing "No". And every time Hubby ask me if I'm feeling alright, I sadly nod and say I'm feeling fine, when what we both really want to hear is "No  I'm having contractions, the Baby is coming!"

Everyone is asking how I'm feeling and if I'm okay. Unfortunately I am, I can't believe I'm saying this but I wish I'm wrecked with contractions and clear-cut pain right now cos all I'm getting are a wide range of inenerrable discomforts which barely warrant a trip to the hospital. I've been reading and re-reading the labor sections of all my Pregnancy books and online resources yet I'm non the wiser.

Here's what I'm getting off the net when I Google "What does contractions feel like?" And these are the gists of some real-life testimonials from various sources:

Severe menstrual cramps
I hardly ever get these back in the day and I can't quite remember how they feel. Nope, I'm not quite feeling this.

Diarrhea, gas cramps
I get lots of these which always lead me to the loo anyway so I guess mine are a results of too much chili padi or yesterday's dinner, so nope, this can't be it.

Sharp shooting pains in the abdomen
I'm not getting much of this, I thought I felt something like this a couple of nights, they went away so I wonder if I dreamt it anyway.

Dull achy cramps
This is happening on and off, probably due to Baby's weight or whatever but it's not alarming enough to set us rushing anywhere. Besides, it goes away on and off.

Tightening of the belly
I have been feeling this all the time past few weeks and it's the one and only slightly more regular sensation I have. The tightening doesn't even qualify as mildly uncomfortable so I'm ruling it out as an alarm unless it gets more intense to the point of actually being painful.

Backache
My mum says hers started out as backache and radiates to the whole belly. I don't have backaches to begin with and I guess this is only valid if the baby's back is pressing against the spine which is not quite my case.

It's something like you've never felt before
Are you seriously kidding me; how is such a description even helpful in any way?

Others
There are other sudden indescribable sensations, little pains, aches and tenderness all around at different spots and different times of the day. They are usually more ticklish than uncomfortable.

So I'm basically sitting around analysing every sensation I experience and trying very hard to compartmentalise them into all the categories I've read up on. This keeps me up all night and it's driving me crazy. Unfortunately nothing I feel seems to be regular enough for me monitor and track. Sigh.

People say "You will know it when it happens" but I sure ain't knowing anything or it's definitely not quite happening. The thing I wonder is "What if it's happening and I don't even know it?" I might have like super-human pain threshold and not even realise I'm in labor. Gosh.

I'm really not sure how much more of this I can take. I'm insomniac, heavy, big, uncomfortable, sweaty and worst of all ... bored out of my freaking mind. At this point, I'm just praying and begging; oh God bring on the PAIN!!! At least I'll know for certain something is going to happen, the waiting and uncertainty is not fun at all.

Preparing For Baby: Part 2 & Final?

Following the photo post early this month, here are more memento snapshots of our preparation for the arrival of our Prince; baby Lucas.

Here are some of Baby's toiletries; not even born yet and he's already being spoilt by Aunty Beatrice with organic toiletries! Next to the them is the soft and cute Lion Rattle which Daddy called a "Flower Bear" before I corrected him. I guess Daddy needs to sit in for animal flash cards lessons with Baby :)

How can any pregnant woman resist something that calls itself Earth Mama Angel Baby and comes in packaging like these? This US brand specializes in all organic, safety-approved baby and mummy stuff. You can buy them online here at Little Whiz, among others. They even have a perineum spray; spray to soothe and relieve the down under discomfort! Who would have thought?

Here's the tub where Baby will spend time playing with water and his two little duckies.

 These are the stuff for bathing the new mum and baby. Errrr, I didn't buy these; my Mum bought a huge bag full of these. They are apparently ancient herbs trusted for generations from the Chinese medical halls, somehow they now come in 'fancy smancy' packaging! They actually smell quite nice from the pack; like a zen spa. I will humor my mum with the lot of them as long as they smell okay during usage and won't give me and baby rashes. 

 I definitely didn't buy these but I have to put this here in tribute to my dear Mum, and to remind myself how blesssed and lucky I am to have my Mum care for me during such a critical period. I would never know what herbs to buy and goodness me even if I did; what do I even do with them? Anyway, she's stocked the fridge full of these plus bottles of ginger wine. It's a lost art I tell you.

 This is me taking the easy way out; after some googling, hearsay has it that Amway has the best post-natal care pack in town; completely traditionally Malaysian but in a modern, hygienic and easy-to use set with an instruction pamphlet in three languages! Here it is; a complete package of capsules, wrap, massage oils, massage herbs and a 'bengkung' tummy binder to 'fix' the new mum.

 These are the final reading while I wait for my Prince to make a grand entrance.

Baby's got some reading materials waiting for him too!

This should be it, we're pretty complete now and ready now. I've been told now is the time to spend some quality paktoh (dating in Cantonese) with the Hubby and some precious alone me-time as once Baby arrives, life will be forever changed.

Week 39: The Last Week!

We have one week to go! Feels like a miracle that we've even come so far. We are both so thankful that we rode through the past nine months so smoothly and almost uneventfully; thank God! For months I've been trying so hard to ward off and pray away unpleasant thoughts of premature birth and all other kinds of fears. Now that we're in a safe zone, we're happy and at rest; just waiting for something to happen!

As promised in my last update at Week 33; here is my final update on being pregnant.


The Physical Updates:

1. I've gained a total of 16.5 kg (from 52kg to 68.5kg) which is rather disheartening as I was hoping not to cross the 15kg mark! But then again, who can I blame when I basically let go when it came to having all my favorite desserts, well almost let go. Hubby kept a tight rein though!
2. I'm still very breathless *pant*pant*
3. I'm more bloated than ever; during my last update I can't imagine I can get even more bloated but I did! Even my nose and face is 'swollen' and ,my fingers are so tight with water retention it hurts to grasp my fist tightly.
4. I tried shoe shopping only to discover I'm now 2 sizes larger! (from 5 to 7 *boohoo*)
5. Some of my maternity clothes which I can wear a month or two back doesn't fit anymore! Just when I think I can save some $$$ I actually have to go get more clothes.
6. Fortunately my face is still behaving very well, other than some slightly more pronounced freckles, I've been blessedly exempted from breakouts. Which is a major blessing as I can no longer visit my beautician as I can barely get up on their facial bed and lay on my back for more than  a few minutes.
7. Another good thing; my hair fall has lessen; seeing alot less hair on the bathroom floor!
8. I've become less moody, maybe the hormones are regulating itself now.
9. I'm still as tired as before and although my aches and pains are the same if not worse off, I'm actually feeling more energetic now. I feel like walking, cleaning, cooking, shopping, exercising etc but I can't do either for long. Something will start to ache in no time.
10. I'm still driving! I just did today! *applause*applause*
11. I seem to able to eat more now due to the lightening; this is when baby has drop down to the bottom in preparation for the eventual engagement.
12. Now that I've started my maternity break, I feel so peaceful and at ease! I guess it's good, I've read that a high stress environment can cause delayed labours which may need to be induced, not sure how proven that is. But I really want to be far far away from work matters now; I can't bear to be mentally and emotionally drained for another day!

Agenda for the week, or days to come:

1. Get mum here and get her adjusted to the house.
2. Stock up on key pantry items, groceries and food stuff.
3. Final checks and preparation of the hospital bags.
4. I should clean the house one more round before the week is over.
5. Gonna try some DIY 'labour inducing' foot massage.
6. Do my final revision on all matters related to birth and labour.
7. Read up and you tube more on nursing; I'm really hoping to get it right from the start.
8. I've already begun to commit the Brahm's lullaby to memory; time for more practise!

Baby Bump Portraits

Hubby and I took some studio portraits with the bump at around 7 months back in June. Here are some of the anonymous shots which we love (sorry no face hehe)

These shots were done at Jim Liaw Photography at their Hartamas studio.

Looking forward to shooting Baby Lucas!!!

Post Natal Weight Loss Motivation

There are six weeks to go till the birth of our Baby Boy, hence I know this post is rather premature. Ya ya I know I should not think about this but focus on my delivery and confinement but I can't help it. Part of my consciousness is bombarding me with fearful thoughts of not losing the "baby fat" ever and alas, woe to me I stumbled upon some really OLD photos from my defunct and outdated Multiply site which kind of freaked me out! (I had Multiply during those pre-Facebook, pre-Blogger days!)

Anyway it depresses me at how much weight has sneakily crept upon me over the years. Being in a stable relationship plus having pudgy genes does that to one.

My weight history as far as I can remember:

Best weight ever in 2004: below 45kg!
Wedding weight in 2007: between 46 - 48kg I think
Pre-baby weight in Dec 2009: 52kg
Last weight-in at 32 weeks: 63.5kg

I created this montage to start psycho-ing myself into my future gorgeous post-baby, post-nursing body. Will I make it? How low should we aim? Pre-wedding or post-wedding weight? I doubt we'll ever go below 45kg anyway, so let's wait and see. I'll probably be lucky if I can go back to my pre-baby weight at 52kg by year end. Not only that, we also have to deal with the stretch marks, cellulite, flabbiness etc.

Well, even though I may find that I'll fall short of what I used to be in my mid-twenties, I know it will be worth it.

About the Doctor

I get quite a few queries on the ob-gyn that I'm seeing for my pregnancy and why I chose the hospital I chose. I will share some basic facts here, hope it helps anyone who may be seeking such information:

Dr. Wong Sum Keong

MBBS (Mal), MRCOG (Lond), Fellowship in Gynae. Oncology (UK)

Consultation Obsterician & Gynaecologist

Gynaecological Oncologist

Hartamas Women Specialist Clinic

4-1, Jalan 31/70A, Desa Sri Hartamas,

50480 Kuala Lumpur.

Tel: 03-2300 1990, 2300 1996

(Consultation Hours: Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays between 4 - 7pm)

Pantai Hospital Kuala Lumpur (PHKL)

Suite B409, Fourth Floor (new Specialist wing, towards Starbucks)

3, Jalan Bukit Pantai,

59100 Kuala Lumpur.

Appointments: 03-2296 0733, 2296 0472 (Ask for Jothi; a really helpful nurse!)

(Consultation Hours: Mondays to Saturdays 9am - 1pm)

PHKL 24 Hours Emergency Numbers

Labor Ward: 03-2296 0909

PMC Operator: 03-2296 0888

For room rates and more details; you may check out the Official PHKL Website.

At this point, I do not have concrete details on the labor and delivery charges but I will update it eventually. Overall I do not personally find Dr Wong very expensive but then again I don't have extensive comparison to review the costs here and I'm definitely no expert on the medical rates where Malaysian private hospitals are concerned and I do not intend to go into all that here.

So coming to why I chose Doctor Wong, see below:

• His reputation as a pro-natural doctor.
• I was recommended by an ex-colleague who had several in the family going to him as their ob-gyn and they were all successfully natural vaginal births.
• He is very gentle and considerate as a person and very experienced as an ob-gyn.
• Also, I must also state that I'm one of those who is more comfortable with a male ob-gyn; I don't know why but they give me the confidence that they are more objective and compassionate. My mum says so anyway.
• Anyway I'm not the only one who thinks so; in fact his schedule is so full that you may end up waiting for hours. Sometimes you get canceled-out if he has an emergency c-section or delivery which clashes with your appointment. It happens and can't be helped, you'll just have to reschedule and come back again, so choose a clinic which is near your home or you'll be cursing till no end!

And why I chose PHKL:

• For strange reasons, ever since young I wish I was born there!
• The location is convenient and they have good facilities.
• They do not appear so overly-high density and over-crowded as compared to some hospitals.
• Everyone knows where it is and so it's easy for family to visit.
• I know I can reach it within reasonable time despite whatever traffic condition; a crucial factor in case of emergencies! Plus it's very near both our workplace.

Overall I liked the doc and both his clinics are very accessible and convenient for us. If you decide to engage Dr Wong in Pantai, do bring along your book, magazine, iphone, ipod, pillow, snacks, water bottle, whatever as the wait can get long on most days.

Just a tip; you've got to like the doctor and his staff as you'll be seeing them very regularly throughout your pregnancy. In fact it's almost weekly towards the last month, so a convenient location, good chemistry and a team of helpful staff is a plus point.

The Hospital Bags Checklists

On Sunday I had slight abdominal cramps. I didn't freak out as my rationale mind told me it was probably the dinner. Well, it went away the next morning so it was probably gas. If it was some pre-labor contractions I wouldn't have been able to drag myself to work yesterday anyway! 

However, got me thinking that any day from now on could be Labor Day. I told myself to quickly pack up my hospital bag. Actually I've got a list ready a couple of weeks ago and I've packed pretty much one-third of it. More than half the stuff can't exactly be packed yet e.g. my smelly pillow and the Krazy Koala (duh then how will I sleep till that day comes?) and the spectacles of course!

There are 2 bags to pack: the Momma Bag and the Baby Bag. Just for the benefit of the curious and moms-to-be, here are my two bag checklists:

The Momma Bag 

Clothes

• Pink monkey robe and matching bedroom slippers
• Nursing gown
• Sleeping gown
• Nursing / sleep bra
• Disposable / normal knickers
• Button down top / going home clothes 
• Socks for sleep

Toiletries and Sanitation

• Avene spray
• Bog roll, box tissues, cotton pads, wet wipes ( I don't trust hospital's quality!)
• Skincare, fragrance, deo, shampoo, lipbalm, lotion etc
• Toothbrush, tooth paste, floss, mouthwash
• Brush, hairclips, hair bands
• Maternity pads, nursing pads
• Lens case, solution and glasses  

Comfort

• Ventolin inhaler & nasal spray  
• Krazy Koala, Ashley Bear, Smelly pillow (hope we can find you guys some space!)
• Own blanket (the one my mum made which I used pre-marriage; woohoo)
• Aromatherapy oils and massage roller
• Water bottle
• Chewing gum
• Hot / cold compress (If I can find them!)
• Room spray (not sure if the hospital room and loo will smell funny) 

Others

• My birth plan, hospital fact sheet and tape to tape it on the wall (bet it'll annoy the hospital staff LOL!)
• Wallet, ID and hospital card
• My PC (notebook) and spare adaptor (they might have only ONE electrical socket!) 
• Phone, charger and USB adaptor
• Camera, charger (at this rate I'll need a separate bag for the chargers and cables alone!)
• Oil burner, candles and oil (this is optional, I doubt they will let me light candles there!)
• Books and magazines (specifically the Lamaze book, the Pregnancy Q&A Book and whatever novel I'm on at the time)
• Notepad and pen (good for saying "Leave me alone" if I don't wanna talk)
• Breast pump  

The Baby Bag 

• Diapers: disposable & cloth
• Receiving blankets x 3
• Swaddling cloth
• Green froggy blankey (for transit)
• Muslin cloth x 1
• Small towels  x 5
• Hooded towel  x 1
• Newborn rompers x 3 sets
• Going home outfit x 1
• Mittens, booties, hat, bib x 2 sets
• A small musical toy 
• Baby wipes

Daddy's Stuff 

No serious packing here; just a small reminder for my trusty birth-partner!

• Baby Travel System (install infant seat in car, keep stroller in trunk; doubt a newborn should be strapped into it as yet)
• Dad’s camera ( I bet this is the first thing he will think of without any prompting whatsoever anyway!)
• Magazines, books, or anything else to pass the time
• Phone (packed with games?) with charger (we can share the charger actually)
• Change of clothes
• Basic toiletries i.e. toothbrush, toothpaste etc.

Gosh, it appears as if I'm gonna be there for a week! Knock-on-wood I pray not! Looking at my checklists above I wonder how did women in medieval times give birth with such minimal assistance and so much less preparation! Well readers, do feel free to holler if I forgot anything!

The Birth Plan

I've been reading up on my impending BIG EVENT ... which will take place in about 6 weeks from now. It's a BIG EVENT because my status in life is gonna change forever and we're gonna be PARENTS. Which is naturally a BIG THING. Heehee.

So anyway, being inspired by the Lamaze method and all thing natural, I've decided to write a BIRTH PLAN. I know it seems like I'm being so dramatic, those who know me well enough and has seen my 30-page typed, printed and bound wedding manual would consider my 2-page birth plan a breeze by my standards!

 

I don't really know what to expect other than what I've heard and read, so I'd like to be prepared for contingencies and not lose control to a series of medical routines that may not be absolutely necessary but performed merely for the sake of comfort and convenience. I strongly believe that our bodies are designed to give birth naturally and we should aim for a birth experience as natural as God has intended it to be. Of course sometimes emergencies arise and that's where the ob-gyn works his magic with modern medical technology. My objective here is not to take medical intervention as my FIRST option nor as an easy way out. Of course, we don't deny that in many cases clever medical intervention can save lives and I'm definitely opting for that in the case of an emergency.

My research has led me to this and yet I'm not sure how accepted are pre-written birth plans in Malaysian hospitals. One main reason for having this is because  I'm quite paranoid that I'll be in too much  pain and distraction to respond with correct decisions in the throes of labor. The last thing is I want is the medical team doing a bunch of routines on me while I'm not in the sound state of mind to protest!

I'm sharing my birth plan here as it may be of some help to others and as I'm also so new  to this, I'm open to advice and feedback from the more experienced of you lot. Also, to give credit where due, this birth plan is a result of extensive research online but most of my final draft here is adapted from Childbirth.org and Birthplan.com

This birth plan is intended to express the preference and desires we have for the birth of our baby. We fully realize that situations may arise such that our plan cannot and should not be followed. However, we hope that barring any extenuating circumstances, you will be able to keep us informed and aware of our options. Our aim is to have a completely NATURAL vaginal birth as much as possible, hence we wish to be consulted on all necessary medical interventions and be clearly informed of all consequences of each medical procedure. Thank you.

Privacy

• Only allow husband and my mother in labor and birth

• Would prefer not to have students, residents etc and any unnecessary staff

• Keeps doors closed at all times

First Stage (Labor):

• Standby my asthma medication e.g. ventolin inhaler

• Music of our choice via iphone / notebook

• I need my own bedding e.g. pillows and blankets

• Prefer option of wearing my own clothing

• Keep invasive / vaginal exams to a minimum.

• Maintain mobility throughout labor; sit up, walk, sleep, shower etc

• Eat and drink to comfort

• No IV drip, no Heparin / Saline lock at this stage

• Relaxation techniques (music, breathing, aromatherapy)

Baby Monitoring

• Only intermittent monitoring using hand-held devices e.g. Doppler, fetoscope

• Avoid (electronic fetal monitoring) EFM unless absolutely medically warranted

Induction / Augmentation:

• If my pregnancy progresses past 40 weeks, I would prefer to base the decision to induce on the results of the baby's biophysical profiles, not on my own personal discomfort or impatience.

• Please do not rupture my membranes artificially unless the baby is in distress

• Use natural methods to induce labor

• As much as possible, no IV induction e.g. Pitocin, use Prostaglandin Gel to ripen the cervix

Pain Management:

• Heat or cold packs

• Massage

• Use analgesic pain relief if I ask for it e.g. Gas / Pethidine

• No drugs that may cause side effects to baby

• No spinal epidural unless a C-section is warranted

Second Stage (Birth):

• No supine birth; prefer as upright as possible or whatever feels right at the time

• As long as baby and I are fine, allow the pushing stage to progress free of stringent time limits

• Prefer no episiotomy, but please use compresses & massage, unless risk of tearing.

• Please administer local anesthesia when repairing any episiotomy

• No urinary catheterization

• If all is fine and I’m not in severe distress, let me cut the umbilical cord

Baby Care:

• As long as baby is healthy and normal, delay all routine assessment after bonding and breastfeeding.

• Let baby bond on my chest skin to skin ASAP, even if cord is intact

• Breast feeding only; please help baby latch on if necessary

• No pacifiers, formula or glucose water

• All assessment of baby must be done in the same room as me, in front of me or the father if I’m unconscious

• We will save the cord for cord blood banking

• No circumcision on my baby

Cesarean Birth:

• Spinal / epidural anesthesia, no GA (take not e of ASTHMA)

• My husband and mother may be present

• Final stages; lower the screen so I can see the baby emerging

• Keep baby close to me during recovery and begin breastfeeding as soon as possible

Sick / Premature Baby:

• Breast feeding as soon as possible

• Keep baby close to me as much as possible

Just for the record, this is one of my main reading reference:

The Official Lamaze Guide: Giving Birth with Confidence By Judith Lothian, Charlotte DeVries

Some other online resources I find really helpful are:

1. American Pregnancy
2. Lamaze
3. Baby Center Malaysia
4. The Bump

Week 33: Counting Down 7 Weeks

I am now at week 33, which means I'm halfway through the last trimester. This is just a brief update of my progress at this point;

The Un-pleasantries ...

1. Aches and pains! It hurts everytime I switch positions; be in in bed, sitting to standing etc.
2. Leg cramps in the middle of the night; this sucks big time.
3. Mobility; I'm super slow, which is something I am not used to, me being the natural speedy pocket rocket that I am.
4. Breathless! I'm always panting and huffing and puffing like an old person! Utterly unglam!
5. Bloated; compact lil' me is now even bigger than Tweeter's Fail Whale! I can't even wear my wedding band!
6. I'm running out of clothes to wear, the repetition now is on a 10 day rotation or less, which by my standards is damn sad. Plus, I can barely find the motivation to iron those that need it.
7. I'm down to one pair of flats which is already giving way, which also by my standards are utterly pathetic, I can hear my sexy heels crying out my name every time I walk past the shoe cabinet.
8. My hair is flat and I've lost some fair bit and yet alas I cannot color it so it's not exactly red carpet coiffure now, but it's still bearable.
9. Anti-social; I'm in absolutely no mood to make small-talk, even to have a conversation with colleagues / associates feels like a painful chore. I just want to be left alone, I even pack my own lunch so I can stay in my shell.
10. Irritable; i get irritated easily now, especially with people who are naggy, repetitive, annoying plus I cannot stand strangers who likes to stare at my pregnant form. I feel like scolding these strangers sometimes; like "WTF is wrong with u; never seen pregnant woman before ah???"

Counting My Blessings ...

1. As Baby is now bigger and there are less amniotic fluid, I can feel him move, squirm and kick more often and more intense, which delights me to no end! Every move makes me smile or giggle or talk to my bump; which is really strange I know :)
2. I thank God that I'm exempted from bad skin (breakouts) and pigmentation.
3. People seem to think I'm glowing and radiant; it may be so but I'll have to thank Guerlain's Meteorites for this!
4. Eventhough I can barely walk sometimes, I'm still in the mood to put on makeup *grin* 
5. I still have a decent appetite and can basically eat everything without extreme cravings and aversions.
6. I'm still quite into minor housework like cooking and  laundry, they are not bothering me much yet, not sure about weeks to come though.
7. I can still drive and I don't mind driving much as it's quite relaxing for me, even in a jam.
8. According to Doc I've only gained 11.5kg since day one and the last weight-in was purely baby weight, hence baby is not too heavy nor too huge. They say the first 15kgs gained goes first, so I hope I won't pass the 15kg mark!
9. Dear hubby is making more effort to make me comfortable i.e. foot massages, and doing the 'cooking' when we have steamboat among other things. He's even switching his evening gym schedules to lunch hour so he can be with me in the evenings *aaawwww*
10. Getting nearer and nearer to Baby's birthday! Will it be end August or early September; I can't wait to finally see Baby's little face, touch his tiny hands and sing a lullaby for him.
11. I'm super thankful we have my dear mum to rely on for my confinement and we won't have to hunt around for one who is not psycho and won't cost a bomb.
12. I have very understanding and supportive colleagues, friends and family overall, no one is deliberately making my life difficult so that's cool.
13. Had a wonderful Baby Shower with lotsa amazing gifts and well wishes from dear friends :)

Agenda in Weeks to Come...

1. Complete packing the hospital bag; we have two bags; the Mummy bag and the Baby bag. We have also decided what outfit Baby will wear when we leave the hospital, it's a cute Carter's romper given by Baby's Ah-Yee (my brother's wife); she brought it back all the way from the States; bless her:)
2. I plan to clean up whatever I can of the house and the baby's room (see Cot here!) and prepare mum's cosy corner so she'll be comfortable here, alamak, plus subscribe for her Astro Wah Lai Toi!
3. Then there's alot of pantry / grocery stuff that needs to be stocked up on since I won't be very mobile for a while.
4. Hunt for some lullaby music CDs; the nursey rhyme type and the Sunday School types. The only one I can sing now is "Jesus Loves Me This I Know" so I need to 'teach' myself more 'baby tunes'.See la, I never did enough nursery and Sunday School duties in my youth days in church! Tsk tsk!
5. I'm now researching learning and development activities so I know what to do with my newborn in months to come; i.e. games, play, flash cards, whatever ... the resources online are endless so there's much filtering and studying to do on my end; eeek!
6. Go through the Birth Plan with the Doc; I will also share my Birth Plan here soon.
7. Go through house orientation with Mum who's coming over to stay. 
8. I've still yet to fold up all the muslin nappies! But I've learnt how to 'wear a nappy'!

Adorable Carter sleep suit from my dear sister in law, all the way from US;

just look at the monkey-bootie attached to the suit! Comel giler.

I'll have another update soon enough; probably as I'm halfway through Month Nine in August.

Entering the Third Trimester

They say the last three months of pregnancy are the most trying among the total nine months. I am now in week 28, and I'm mighty glad and super thankful that God has brought us safely and well so far. We have 12 weeks to go before we welcome the new member of our little family. Anyway this is not gonna be another baby-bore post about the glorious spice and all things nice, in fact, I'm gonna go into the aches and pains of pregnancy for a change. Just for the sake of perspective, and so you would appreciate your mother more! Haha.

Cramps
For starters, I've been getting leg cramps and muscle spasm since a week back. The aches and cramps comes every time I shift a position; from sitting to standing, from left angle to right. Can't quite seem to find a comfortable angle. The aches range from dull cramps to sharp pains anywhere from the hips downwards. The muscle spasms happens in the middle of the night, always on either calves and it hurts like HELL and I wake up yelping in pain. Sometimes, poor hubs wakes up and tries to massage my poor calves too.

Insomnia
Then the insomnia is starting. I'm tired all the time and I fall asleep readily, only to wake up a couple of hours later to visit the loo .... and then .... I'm wide awake as an owl in the dead of night. Here's where I will myself back to sleep because heaven knows I need to wake up for work the very next day. Sometimes I stay awake regardless and it frustrates me. But when I feel my baby's little kicks and flutters, I'm deeply comforted, knowing he is well and awake to keep me company. I can imagine that sleep will be more difficult in the coming weeks as baby grows bigger.

Running Late
So you can imagine, many a times I'm a little late for work or I'll take the first half off when it gets too bad. Often I just have to suck it in and bear a tiring grouchy day shadowed by insomnia and various cramps. Thankfully my colleagues and bosses are very compassionate and they tolerate this, very much unlike my previous hole, nevertheless I don't intend to take this for granted. Still need to work and earn my keep.

Allergies
If you have existing allergies they get amplified during pregnancy. So I've to work a little harder to keep my sinuses and asthma under control and sometimes they flare up badly anyway, and you can't have the regular killer drugs to sort them out pronto so it's a discomfort that I've to bear along with the rest up that list.

Water Retention
Then there's the unsightly water retention; it's making me look like a puffer fish. Firstly I can't even wear my wedding band and Tiff&Co bracelet anymore, and some days I'm like; "hello ankles where are YOU???" I'm actually down to ONE pair of shoes that are comfortable through the day. Some of the new flats I bought are sent into hibernation with the rest of my heels.

So there you go, these are some of the discomforts of carrying a baby. But all in all, I'm thankful that for every ache and groan I have, I know it could be worse. I'm also thankful that I have supportive people around me who loves me and tells me how wonderfully radiant I look despite looking like a frumpy humpty dumpty with a very limited wardrobe. All I truly ask for is that baby is healthy and comfortable inside and develop well till full term. So despite my whining, I'm willing to go through all this for his sake. So come what may :)

An Obstruction of the Weird Kind

I'm going to start the weekend by officially announcing that my baby bump is now so big that I cannot see my own $%&@ anymore! So should I start visiting Strip or go green and cultivate a forest? Or take my chances and just shave in the blind? Haha :D I've been dreading this day though I knew it was going to come sooner or later. Oh well. Sigh.

I Miss My .....

Smokes. Fags. Cigs.

I'm pleased to say that the blessing of 'motherhood' and pregnancy forced upon me the bonus benefit of clean air and a pair of smoke-free lungs. I am now smoke-free for almost 5 months, since I quit cold turkey on 1st Jan 2010, which was when I discovered I was preggers with Baby Boy. This is the longest ever since my pathetic quitting attempt over 2 years back, which barely lasted 2 months!

While I'm generally blissfully preoccupied with baby-thoughts and intoxicated with joys of becoming a new mum, there are still days where I miss my morning stick; standing at the back balcony with my steaming sweet coffee .... aahhhh... the little sinful pleasures of life.

The 2 things that never failed to make my day!

I was suddenly reminded of my past sinful indulgence when I stumbled upon these gorgeous images of Coco Chanel from the 2009 movie Coco avant Chanel. The most glamorous and most fashionable woman that ever lived chained smoked, what kind of motivation is that for the rest of us smokers who are trying to quit?

I know one thousand and one health freaks out there would like to dispute and refute me but I still hold to the image that a glamourous babe sporting red lips, a plunging neckline and a cigarette in her divinely manicured hand is one hell of an irresistible picture.


However, a new picture of me is a doting mum with her plump baby boy cradled in her arms (but let's maintain the lipstick, plunging neckline and manicured nails ya). So adieu Dunhill Lights, I love thee no more. At least for a while *wink*