Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Stupid People Ask Stupid Questions

Here are some questions or statements that should not be considered conversations nor opening lines ... you know, sometimes you are having a perfectly decent day minding your own business and someone comes and say ....

What happened to your face? Got break out ar?
Do you seriously expect an answer? If I have the answer I would already solve the problem instead of walking around with spots on my face. Unless you are my beautician and have a solution, you have no right to ask me this. If your face is perfect, you're gloating, if your face is not, you should look into the mirror first.

When are you going to change your car?
Unless you intend to buy me a car or I work for you and you are BMW and you sponsor my car purchase, you too should not ask me this.

Why you look so tired? Sick? Pale?

Obviously I am either tired, sick or pale and have no desire to be bombarded with obvious questions. So, if you have an inkling that I may be tired, sick and clearly not in the mood, the right thing to do is stay away from me. My answer to this will be; "yes, guess what? I am a vicious vampire and unless you dissappear now, I will convert you into the living dead this instance"

Why never wear makeup today?

WTF. Do I need to be accountable to people around me on whether or not I paint my face? Should I submit a proposal or permit form and then get approval first? Like what is to you people?

Did you put on weight? Eh, why you put on weight!

Sigh. What do you want me to say? "Thanks" or "No, it's water retention" If I obviously put on weight it would also probably mean that I am feeling miserable about it and therefore stating the obvious, especially in public will definitely make me either (a) hate you (b) pronounce a spell on you (c) slap you in public or (d) remember to publicly humiliate you vindictively when I have the chance or (e) ALL of the above.

Are you pregnant? (when I am obviously NOT)
Well, what can I say? The babydoll dresses and empire line tops are clearly not suited for me. If I am pregnant and you are important enough, I will tell you. You must either (a) hate me (b) be so jealous of me or (c) a big fan of me and are dying to see me populate the world with more people like me or (d) selling baby products via direct selling.

Why you look so short today? Never wear heels ar?
Seriously, where is your car? May I set fire on your car? No car? May I bomb your house then? :) *wide happy maniac grin*

Sometimes I tell God; God, you have to MAKE me NICE and PATIENT because on my own will and accord I will never make it. Seriously. I am such an anti-social, far-from-nice and hyper-sensitive creature and everything seem to irritate the crap out of me.

Seriously. The above are inconsiderate. I would not ask somebody such questions, unless you are really close to me and I know I would not offend you. But some people do get offended, so I often wonder what is the intention. Skeptical and cynical. I know. I can't help it. If it bothers you, too bad.

Actually I want to live in a cave and avoid people, but alas, God has strange plans which seems really demented right now as He somehow expects me to put up with alot of strange bizarre characters but I am sure someday He will reveal a divine purpose for allowing these strange bizarre characters into my world. Sigh.

5 comments:

beetrice said...

And let's not forget the "Are you having a bad hair day?" question. Like do you really need to ask? :D

Just feel like slapping the lot of them sometimes...

Shortcake said...

Hahaha :P Spot on Bee :)

Jamie said...

so true!! i have questions to my face from another pregnant colleague - how come your bump is so much bigger than mine when i'm due earlier than you? - and they ask with a smile...every alternate day...
should i also slap her?? hmmph..
i think God is using her to train my patience & manners!

pohgs said...

Came across your page by chance and am glad I did. I've found your postings enjoyable and rather refreshing. Reading this postings reminds me of the many a time i've had those 'stoopid' remarks / questions thrown to me. One particular incident which I clearly remember till now happened to me whilst I was in Hong Kong (land of pretty & slim people)
I was standing outside a shop waiting for some friends when I was approached by a local girl. She said to me, 'hi there, would you like to lose some weight? You know there's help yet for you. Look at these examples, this girl was just like you (pointing to a photo) and now she's lost so much weight and looks hot (pointing to an after photo of the same girl).
Humph, was I miffed or what? How dare this stranger come up to me and dare suggest such thing!!!
So I sweetly answered her with my best smile on my face. 'I would so love to dear, but you see, I'm married to the most darling man who loves me just for what I am. And God should forbid it that I loose any weght for he would disown me for that. And so, I would love to help you, but you see I can't'
This girl was at a lost for words at my reply. After which I just turned around and walked off. The look on her face = priceless.. lols..

Shortcake said...

thanks girls for all your comments ... u really made my day and made me laugh ... I really need more of that in my life right now.

Jamie - gosh even pregnant women are not spared! I can't believe it! The audacity and insensitivity!

Pohgs - the world is always trying to change us! who them the right? I love your answer to that sales girl!


Million muax and hugs to you all!!! :)