I Bought Some HappYness!

Had a lovely Shopaholic Saturday! More shopping exploits to reward myself for being smoke-free for almost a week! Plenty of excuses to spend money. Sigh.

This green card is true ... sometimes, we should simplify our lives ... if happYness can be bought ... what a wonderful world this would be!

There's a sale going on just about everywhere! First spotted is Mooie .... this was taken across the street (heheh)

This is what I bought from Mooie .... does it look preggers ...??? Dunno man ... but was on sale! 15% off! beh tahan ... so cute!


I also bought a munkii. What's that? More correctly, it's actually an Oook doll. That's what it says on the little hand-written tag. I had to part with RM59 for this spooky creature. Yet it voodoo-ed me from the moment I set eyes on it and I just can't resist. There were loads of Oooks at Mooie, each Oook is hand-made and one design only. More reason to own one!

Oook dolls on a wall

This place surprise me every time. I don't always find something that suits me here but I still love coming here. They change their stuff all the time, and even if I don't buy any baju, I still enjoy browsing.... it's like a quirky gallery of sorts to me. In fact sometimes the baju are too quirky for me ... maklumlah, I am no hip teenybopper ... but wannabe maybe. But no really, they do have something for everyone, just look around and be open-minded ...

What I love most about Mooie are the price tags! Witty. Cute. Naughty.


I just realized that the munkii matches my top! Hah. How is that relevant? No idea actually. They just match.

The best way to top off a delightful rainy shopping afternoon is to indulge in a few books. I enjoy buying books as much as I enjoy reading them. Here are what we picked up at Kinokuniya ....

What a lovely end to a HappY Saturday :)

Japanese Birthday Lunch @ Glenmarie

We celebrated J's birthday with a naughty long lunch today ... heheh ... happy birthday J!!! Sorry we had to sneak in via the back stairs ... again!

Where?
Fu Rin, Holiday Inn Glenmarie (aka Pan Pacific Glenmarie)


What?
Sashimi Bento (raw fish) - huge portions ...
Tori Teriyaki (Chicken teriyaki) - I'm not a chicken fan but J liked it
Saba Shio (Mackerel) - fish was huge and fresh, but not salty enough for me!
Kaki Furai (Deep fried oysters in breadcrumbs) - wow!
Green Tea Ice Cream - smooth, light and huge!
Pricing is around RM30plus to RM5oplus for a set.

Saba Shio

Sashimi (mine mine mine!)

Tori Teriyaki

Oysters (super best!)

Green Tea Ice Cream (*mmmm*)

Everything tasted superb .... all sets comes with chawanmushi ... yumms.

I will go back just for the oysters in breadcrumbs! Delightfully crispy and fresh, especially when it's still hot!

Go on and give Fu Rin a shot. A little bit pricey but it's worth it, especially for a special occasion.

Parking here is easy and free ... but when it rains, get a brolley on stand-by.

Contact details: 1 800 80 1881 or www.holidayinn.com

Day 6: May I Steal a Puff ... please?

Imagine that you have not eaten proper meals for days; all you had were soggy vegetables or plain white bread. Then, you walk into a place where you smell KFC and watch people tearing into steaming hot, fresh and crispy drumsticks .... (yeap, the fried chicken with the incredibly invasive aroma). How does it feel? Go ahead, close your eyes and imagine.

That is how I feel.

That is the deprivation, despair and misery I experience every time they light up, inhale and exhale glorious looking (lethal but glorious) smoke .... *sigh*

You know the quote: The Spirit is Willing but the Flesh is Weak...? Well, I am blessed because I discovered that when the Spirit AND Flesh is weak, my friends are strong!

This is how it goes ... me is watching and drooling and J is happily puffing away...

Me: Can I have a stick, please?
J: No.
Me: Ok, then can I have one puff? Just one puff?
J: No!
Me: It looks so good, sigh.

Later with J and E ....

Me: Can I have one puff, please? Just one tiny puff?
J: No!
E: No! Don't ruin it!
Me: Sigh.

Later with hubby ....

Me: Can I have one stick? Or one puff?
Hubby : No baby.
Me: Pretty please ...
Hubby : No.
Me: Sigh.

Thank you people for being strong for me.

Am I proud of me for being smoke-free for 6 days now...? Yes and no. Yes as I wasn't sure if I could have done it. All glory to God. And no because I had really, really weak moments. Seriously.

A Bitter Cup That Healeth Much

Enough about all the woes and misery of being ciggie-deprived .... I want to focus on the positive now ... life is actually much better without being a slave to cigarrettes ... let's see, here are reasons why life is actually much better now ...

• I feel fresher and healthier!
• No more tight-chesty-phlegmy feeling in the morning ... phew!
• Not having to worry that my clothes and hair stink
• Not having to steal an extra 5 mins after lunch or after a meeting to catch a puff
• Save moolah $$$ on ciggies and lighters ... and I keep losing lighters!
• Food taste better - improved sense of smell I guess
• I actually do use my inhaler alot less!

I still have a slight runny nose and remnants of the nicotine withdrawal symptoms here and there ... but it's all getting better ... I am certain of that!

Ok, truth is I still have not gotten over the cravings ... sigh ... but it's getting more manageable now and I do not feel so 'snappish' anymore.

All I know is this, when it comes to smoking ... don't ever start! The quitting is such a pain. Quitting is a bitter cup indeed ... but the healing will come.

Wise Words from Pooh Bear

My dear Totoro, bless her, came by on Monday night and surprised me with this delightful little book full of precious words which makes you smile. It’s called “The Proverbial Pooh: Wise Words From Winnie The Pooh”

Here are snaps of some of the cute drawings and sayings inside....

Here's my new inspiration for poetry! Haha!

I sometimes feel like this! Like a very small creature.

This is true ... this is why we love Eeyore! *aawww*

Thank you Totoro babe. You made my day! :)

My Reward!

A girl needs an excuse once in a while to buy herself something nice and extravagant! So I decided to color me pretty despite looking sallow and down from withdrawal symptoms and depression of all sorts. Presenting my latest indulgence ... The latest Bobbi Brown Nude Lip & Eye Palette!


It's my first Bobbi product, I've always liked the brand but somehow always end up in Shu or MAC instead. I've heard that Bobbi is known for nudes, browns and naturals.... and indeed they are! I am so delighted with this I've been using it 2 days in a row...


There are 4 lipstick shades; all creamy and smooth (no frost, I cannot stand frosty lipsticks!):

• Brownie Pink
• Cocoa
• Beige
• Bare

So far I love all the shades, the texture is okay for me, less drying than MAC but MAC has a more delightful scent. Nothing at all unpleasant but this lippie scent will take some getting used to.

There are 4 naturally lovely eye shadow shades:

• Bare (matte) - good as a highlight or base
• Naked (matte) - good as a highlight or base
• Nude (shimmer wash) - good as a highlight
• Buff (shimmer wash) - good as an accent shade, my favorite shade so far!

Due to the pale and nude shades, you need to wear foundation or an eye base before application otherwise you will feel as if there's nothing there! But I like nudes and pales, so it works for me!


I also lurve the luxe and shiny looking black compact! Feels so glam just looking at it!

If you think about the colors you are getting and the wonderful shadow brush and lip brush inside, the $$$ is really worth it! Only RM210 for this palette. Imagine, an individual lipstick or shadow might be around RM70 or so. So if you bought 8 x RM70 that would be RM560! Even if the actual gram-size is perhaps only half, you still pay less! Oh and that's not not even taking into consideration the 2 wonderfully useful brushes! Haha, see how I rationalise why I shop??? :)

Japanese Dinner @ Shun

There is a small cosy place we go for Japanese food on weekdays when it's too much hassle to drive out of Subang. Now I must confess Subang is not really THE place for great food, ok, except maybe bakuteh and Farmland steamboat.

Shun Japanese is located directly opposite the new wing of SJMC (Subang Mediacl Centre), along the same row as Windmill & Shakey's Pizza.

Shun is frequented by Japanese (alot of Japanese living within The Wangsa Baiduri area) and some expats plus regular Subang folks. I'm sure they open for lunch but we normally do dinner here.

What we had tonight at Shun:

Shun Bento (signature set with EVERYTHING in it) RM42++
Waghyu Beef Steak Set (I seldom see this on most Japanese menus) RM40++
Butter Enoki Mushroom (not on the menu, you have to request for it)

Shun Bento

Waghyu Steak

Butter Enoki

They have an extensive menu especially if you are feeling rich and adventurous, then go with ala carte and sample everything you like. If you are a small eater and want to play it safe, the the sets are pretty decent. The dinner sets comes with a good portion of light tangy salad (I still prefer the creamy type at Spring Hatsuhana @ BSC, still our #1 fav Jap food spot) and mini-sized chawanmushi. They do not serve chawanmushis at Spring with their bento sets, but you can order separately.

Service at Shun is always good and attentive. Pricing is about the usual; quite standard like most good Jap restaurants. If you happen to be in Subang at night and crave some authentic Japanese fare, you can check Shun out.



What are the other Japanese restaurants in Subang?

• Ryu Men Tai - Good price, serves pork but I don't like the run down interior and shabby feel. Location; SS15, also opposite SJMC, but across the main road.
• Rakuzen - same row as Ryu Men Tei, quite new and with quite impressive ID overall.
• Tomoe - This is apparently brand new, we just saw it, same row as Ryu Men Tei, but at the corner, yet to try.
• Kinpachi - I no longer go here unless I have to to as the place really STINKS up your clothes and hair, must be due to poor ventilation. The menu is quite miserable, in my opinion. Kinpachi is at Wisma DiCorp, SS 17.

All the Jap restaurants at Taipan and USJ area somehow does not intrigue me enough to even bother. Don't know why though.

Day Three: Depression & Fallen Sick

I feel and look like an addict on severe withdrawal.

Puffy, sleepy, pale.

Runny leaky nose.

Sigh.

Lack of sleep plus bouts of anxiety / panic attacks maketh one unfit for work. So today I dragged myself to the docs, mainly to get my hands on Xanax and Clarinase for my runny nose, alas, he only gave me 3, of each. I still remember these Xanax (a class of psychoactive drug considered minor tranquilizers) works like a dream. Makes you really stony and at ease. I had those during the toughest parts of my wedding planning. I guess they work like Prozac, anti-depressant, but milder. I wouldn't know really, I haven't tried Prozac and fortunately have yet to be diagnosed with clinical depression. But since Wikipedia claims Xanax to be a drug that is prescribed for Anxiety Disorders, so does that by causality means I have an Anxiety Disorder? How interesting. This just makes me more complicated than I already am.

You're probably thinking, man, might as well just pick up the damn ciggie and be rid of all these psycho mambo-jumbo. No. This psycho mambo-jumbo is temporal. Picking up and lighting a ciggie now after this level of success is defeat. I will let the depression and discomfort ride. Like a wave. It will eventually stop.

Anyway after seeing the doc I decided to make myself happy with something sweet and sinful ... see below pic .... heh heh heh ...



And my dear hubby is sweet enough to rush back from work just to take me out for a nice Japanese dinner. Muaks my hubby.

Time to pop a pill and go to sleep.

Pigs in Blankets? Find it at The George and Dragon

Hubby and I decided to be adventurous and check out this newly opened bar in BSC ... none other than The George and Dragon. We were actually seduced and suckered by the phrase "Pigs In Blankets" on their bunting and so like pigs to the slaughter, we strutted into the dim dingy little bar which reminds me of "The Three Broomsticks" of Harry Potter.

Below here are the Pigs In Blanket (pork cocktails wrapped with bacon). They cost RM15++ and are very yummy, except that the bacon could be fatter and thicker and juicier.


This is what I ordered (below), the Bangers and Mash, RM18++. Bangers were salty, juicy, succulent and good. Can't decide if this or J&R are better. But I would order it again. Mash were authentic and not too heavy. Love the sauce.


Below here are the menus:



They serve all sorts of sandwiches, ploughman's and pies as well, shepherd's pie, steak and kidney pies, chic and mushroom etc. There is a wide array of booze and wine to choose from.

Hubby says the Happy Hour Guinness Draft here is cheaper than Champ's anytime. Happy Hours all night on Sundays. Certain hours on other days.

When I tried to google George & The Dragon, I found out 3 interesting things ....

1. there is a cafe in JB called George & Dragon Cafe (similar concept but different owners)
2. this is a legend originating from Libya
3. it's also an old movie starring Patrick Swayze!

But for me and hubby, George & Dragon will always mean Pigs In Blankets.

The only thing missing here is Butterbeer!

Magazine Party

The bunch of us from the office are attending this party... and seeing that I have not attended these sort of pretentious media events for quite a while now, I shall publicly announce my intention to do so. Why am I going? Mainly because I HAVE to. Meanwhile I shall start practicing my 'public social smile' and strategize how to manage the non-smoking bit.

Time: 8pm
Date: Thursday 27.03.08

Heritage Mansion
11-01 Heritage House,
33 Jalan Yap Ah Shak,
50300 Kuala Lumpur

Dress code: ReD

















Here are what they say about this party:

Get glam and ready to rub shoulders with some of Malaysia’s most celebrated personalities in music, film and theatre. Bask in the glow of flashbulbs and make your way down the red carpet. With Performances By Reshmonu , Maya Karin + emcee Joanne Kam Poh Poh 200 early birds will receive an exclusive goodie bag with prizes from Moschino fragrance, Revlon, Genting, cIMB, celebrity Fitness and coffee Bean and more to be won throughout the night!

Unfortunately, this is not open to the public, you actually need a special pass to get in, it is attached with their OK magazine.

Day One & Ciggie-Deprived

I am fully charged up thanks to the amazing sermon at this morning's Easter service. PTL for that. Seriously. That should really set the pace for the rest of the day right?

Yes.

And no.

There are still insensitive souls out there who lacks the smarts to identify the subtle nuances of a fellow human being's feelings, emotions, not to mention lack of courtesy, manners and plain consideration.

Am I being touchy at people because I am ciggie-deprived ... or am I being touchy because people are being insensitive and inconsiderate because I am ciggie-deprived.

If your friend or family member is quitting ciggies, and OMG at least for the first day, would you at least do either of the following:

• (a) go to a non-smoking place for lunch (duh)
• (b) let the poor ciggie-deprived quitter choose the lunch venue of her choice
• (c) do not smoke in front of the ciggie-deprived person (double, triple duh duh duh)
• (d) spend time distracting or encouraging the person so she won't think about the subject matter
  
• (e) all the above?

Tsk tsk tsk. Go figure. Not everybody is born with smarts, or consideration. I am ciggie-deprived and suffering from serious withdrawal symptoms, and yet guess what I am to put up a SMILE and pretend that this is the easiest thing in the world to do.

But I just discovered that hot coffee (thanks mum) and pecan oat bars are worthy substitutes.

So how do I spend the rest of my Easter Sunday? I had a nice facial after lunch. I am now apparently (pretty much to my own ignorance) sitting in a dark and musty cyber cafe. Why am I here? I am under the impression that I have to rush here to pick up a certain someone but alas I am told to come in, wait here and log on lah while you are at it.

Wait a second there, did I say I want to log on? How presumptuous. Tsk tsk. Did you even check if I have plans, or if I have something to do? Or maybe I feel unwell or I feel sleepy? No. Whatever it is, it is in your presumptuous mind, not important at all.

What do I do? If it was just anybody on any given day, I would gladly give them a piece of my mind; I would stand up for myself and refuse to be taken for a ride... but as it is Easter and not just anybody ... I c.o.m.p.l.y. .... hence this melodramatic post. But seriously, people should NOT take each other for granted.

My mind churns with various options of sweet vindictive thoughts. Alas, the Lord says "vengeance is mine" and who am I to deprive God of such a a pleasure.

This is the right thing to do, say "I am not done yet, I need another 2 hours, 3 hours, 48 hours, please come at such and such a time" this would be very kind so that I can plan my activities and do my own stuff and I will come at an appointed time. It's seriously plain MANNERS and COURTESY lah .... seriously.

As it was not my intention to sit here after a nice shower on Easter Sunday, I resent being here, there a few things I can imagine I could be doing now:

• (a) catch up on work
• (b) surfing at home (in the COMFORT of home, sigh)
• (c) reading Sophie's World in bed
• (d) cleaning room
• (e) watching TV
• (f) playing with puppy

Instead I am here.

Why am I here?

Did I ask to be here?

I have no idea.

I am listening to guys playing mindless PC games and shouting expletives in various languages all over the place ... &%$#@&. All I can say is, I do not care how certain people wish to spend their precious weekends, Easter weekends, first day of quitting ciggies etc ... but as you can imagine that this is a rather significant weekend to me and I can really think of a thousand things I would rather be doing. And I am GLAD to even be ALONE.

Perhaps I am selfish, the world does not revolve around me and my ciggie-deprived state of being. Alas.

I suppose we have to make certain sacrifices in life. This is my road to walk.

After this I do deserve Patchi chocolates. I am a drama queen. I am on a caffeine high and ciggie-deprived and sitting here by coercion. So indulge me.

So everyday we need to carry our cross, die to ourselves, and ask the good Lord to help us "forgive those who offend us" ... and HELP me God indeed.

English Afternoon Tea

Tired of heavy hi-tea sessions at crowded hotels with screaming children and droves of people all rushing for the buffet line? An afternoon tea at Carcosa Seri Negara might just be your thing.

This is not your conventional hi-tea with your mee siam, roti jala and ice kacang. Welcome to the world of classic indulgences and dainty china. Reminiscent of colonial days; tuck into authentic scones, rose petal jams, cucumber sandwiches and a variety of teas to choose from. Pictures speaks louder than words in this case .....










This is a favorite with expats, high society and Datin Datins sekalian, as well as those who appreciates the finer things in life. It's really serene, relaxing and comfortable here, a wonderful respite atop a scenic hill. You can talk all you want with your girlfriends, with birds chirping in the background! So get into the mood, put on your floral dress and drive up the hill now!

I have friends who actually did not like this, quote "pretentious" ... "old folks come here" ... "bo kau chiak" (Hokkien for 'not enough to eat! Haha!) Well, they are used to the conventional hi-tea fare and hustle and bustle, which has a charm on its own, of course. But this is truly something you have to try at least once in your life. Having said that, the company is all that matters for hi tea, as long as you enjoy the company, every place is a great place!

This is surprisingly not as expensive as it looks; only RM60++ per person. You need to book in advance though as it's only on Saturdays 3pm onwards and the place is really small.


Address & contact:

Carcosa Seri Negara
Taman Tasik Perdana
50480 Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia

Tel: (60) 3 2295 0888

Lebanese Food Anyone?

We chose Lebanese at Al Rawsha for our "appreciation dinner" last year to thank our beloved friends who helped tremendously throughout and during the wedding. We decided that Lebanese cuisine would make an interesting change to the norm.

Why we love Al Rawsha?

• Meat! Loads of meat, chicken, lamb, and huge portions too!
• Fragrant pilaff rice
• Baklavas! Sweet and yummy! A must have after dinner!
  
• Authentic Arabica coffee
• The portions are huge and great for a group / communal dining
• The variety of juices!
• The relaxed, casual and open ambiance
  

For those keen to try out Lebanese cuisine (Middle Eastern), this is the address:
No. 78 Jalan Damai
Off Jalan Ampang, KL
Phone: 2143 9151

If you know where Villa Manja or Rahsia is, this place should not be a problem. It's on the road directly behind Empire Tower / City Square. You can also turn into the road before the French Embassy (I think it's Jalan Sejahtera) and then turn right into Jalan Damai.

It's a challenge to park if it rains though. And this place is better for dinner, it might be too hot and heavy for lunch!

The Daily Grind

We discovered The Daily Grind on a Sunday while hunting for lunch. This is a fairly new place which replaced Du Viet at Bangsar Village (old wing) . It's at the back and facing the street. You can see it from the entrance to Bangsar Village 2 at Coffee Bean.


What can you find here:
All kinds of burgers ala fine dining style in a cosy minimalist European ambience.



Likes:

• Italian Buffalo Mozza Beef Burger (thick slab of medium well beef!) - see pic above
• Passionfruit Soda
• Homemade ketchup and chili sauce (thumbs ups!)
• Cornbread (came with the fried chicken, see pic below)
• Fat fries

Don't quite cut it for me:

• Iced coffee :( (sorry but my standards for iced coffee are rather on the upside and it's gotta be rich)
• Asparagus soup (My hubby liked it, I thought it was too 'watery' but portion was good)

Overall a delightful and convenient place for a nice Sunday afternoon bite, will definitely be back, if i am in the mood to splurge on burgers :)

One More Day to Go ...

I just had my last office ciggie-break with my colleague this evening … we even took a picture to remind us of this! We do have so much fun during all our ciggie breaks… sigh. I had a mixed emotional moment of relief plus despair plus excitement …. My dear girl, who is a good friend and fellow smoker asked me “You are mentally prepared for this right?” How true, this is not something that you can say “Ok, that’s it, I’m not doing it anymore” I’m not only mentally prepared, I am spiritually, emotionally and physically prepared. Not hundred percent fool proof preparation but it’s my best shot, with help from above.

A few people have asked me this: “Why do you want to quit?” I have a lot of reasons and they are all
jumbled up in my mind. I need to organize my thoughts, here they are.

Why do I want to quit smoking?

1. Obedience to my God and King to not defile His temple.Quoting 1 Corinthians 6:19 - 20: Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, whom lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.
   
2. I’m tired of being a poor testimony or constantly having to defend my right to do as I wish with my life. A defensiveness which is driven by guilt. That is no way to live.
   
3. I want to be rid of this habit, I am enslaved and addicted and that is not living a victorious life.
   
4. I feel terrible that friends and family have to put up with my smoking habit, and I am also damaging them as second hand smokers. Every person DOES have a right to breathe clean air. That's the way God intended it to be.
   
5. I’m tired of waking up with a wheeze and tightness in my chest. I want to be rid of my asthma and not having to be dependent on my inhaler so much. I am an asthmatic who smokes, go figure. So eventually I can save more money as I won’t be buying cigarettes and less inhalers too!
   
6. I want to conceive this year and that is good enough a reason! My baby is worth it!
   
7. Smoking no longer attach the cool imagery of being sexy, bohemian, hippie and rebellious. Hey, wake up, Woodstock is so over. Who I am now and where I am now, this is really bad for my rep. It’s totally uncool and downright repulsive and shows that I am weak minded, undisciplined, living a double life and I cannot be taken seriously. I can’t even bring myself to serve in church now. Gosh, what will the children and teens think if they catch me smoking outside?
   
8. A new identity! An identity in Christ, a child of God! Look, I know God loves me, no more, no less whether I am a smoker or not. This is by no means any judgement on any Christian who smokes. You can smoke and be Christian and love God in your own way. I am just convicted to take this to another level, this is a very individual thing. I repeat, there is no judgment here.
   
9. I need to get my singing voice back. I lost my singing voice ever since I started smoking. That is so depressing.
   
10. I will have better skin, my beautician will be thrilled to hear this.
    
11. I need to be able to run for at least 30 mins without having to stop to puff my inhaler or catch my breath. I can work out more and have better stamina. Bodypump class, here I come!
12. I need to get rid of this addiction to fund my other addictions, as it is I have addictions aplenty: coffee, shopping, books, shoes ...
13. I want to look back and say: I quit, I did it with Jesus’ help and give all glory back to God!
14. I need to quit now so then I can encourage my husband to do the same

My practical action plans:

1. I told my colleagues about my quit date and my decision and my reasons, so they will not be inviting me to smoke breaks and we will go to smoke-free places for lunches.
   
2. I will avoid all clubs, mamaks, clubs and places where everyone is smoking, until I am stronger and have gotten over all the cravings and addictions, got to avoid tempting situations. What makes it worse? ALL my friends smokes (I mean like 8 out of 10 at least and that’s mighty plenty!)
   
3. I will get a huge store of healthy snacks this weekend to munch on when I have the urge to put something into my mouth. I’ll buy Patchi chocolates if I have to.
   
4. I have the nicotine gum ready to chew on. This might prove useful when I am caught in a company of smokers and I can’t tell them to not smoke. This reminds me, coming trip ton Singapore with my MD might be a challenge …. Groan.
   
5. When I am pissed and angry at work and need a release, I will …. chew gum, eat chocolates, blog, sing, leave early and go to the gym, or leave early and go shopping!
   
6. I told cell leaders and trustworthy Christian friends so the can pray for me this few days. This is not merely a flesh battle, and I need prayer warriors to back me up.
   
7. I will reward myself; for the 50 bux or so I save each week, I will buy something really nice for myself, hmm … let’ see, I will start with Patchis, followed by really expensive gourmet coffee and clothes, lots of clothes. And a good book. No, make it a couple of good books.
   
8. I will go and hang out at all the non-smoking cafes and restaurant which I used to avoid; I’ll start with Banquet at Bangsar Village.

The Lord is fully aware of what I am going through ...

• So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free. John 8:36 NLT
• Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak. Matthew 26:41 NLT
• May He grant you your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed. May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory and raise a victory banner in the name of our God. May the Lord answer all your prayers. Psalm 20:4 – 5 NLT
• Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. Psalm 55: 22 NLT

I know I have the whole world backing me up on this; good friends, colleagues, church friends and leaders. Smokers and non-smokers alike want to see me succeed. I am deeply encouraged. It helps to have friends who cares and want to back you up.

I did entertain thoughts of "What if I fail? Stumble and fall?" All my lofty thoughts and plans ... but I cannot. I must press on and win this. And even if I do stumble, I believe in second chances.

So … one more day before I take on a new identity …

Take My World Apart

These are the lyrics to "World's Apart" by Jars Of Clay … I've been listening to them on loop now, this is a really old album (release 1995) but one of their best albums without a doubt. This song echoes the cry of my heart now, more than ever. So as tribute to this Good Friday + Easter weekend; I dedicate my heart to You my God & King.

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love,
To give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
More deeply than the oceans,
More abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me
Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

And I pray,
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
And wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remains
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
The battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
And wash the feet and cleanse my pride
Take the selfish, take the weak,
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
The sin and soaked heart and make it yours
Take my world all apart
Take it now, take it now

And serve the ones that I despise
Speak the words I can't deny
Watch the world I used to love
Fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
So wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remain
So steal my heart and take the pain
Take the selfish, take the weak
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
Take my world apart,
take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
Take my world apart

My Practical Back Up Plan

Look, these are my back-up snack stash for this coming Monday ... that would be my first smoke-free week in after 5 years or so. I have decided to stock up on snacks so I can stuff my face until the cravings rides off. Ok, yeah I know ... I will watch the bingeing ... the last thing I need after a smoking problem is a sugar / obesity problem!

It's off to Cold Storage this Sunday to stock up on fruits ... I just discovered last night that a decent tray of grapes (can't remember how many gms) cost RM8.28 ... that's the price of a pack of ciggies. *heh*

My Secret to Rosy Flushy Cheeks!

Ok, if I'm gonna blog about it, it's no secret anymore! Well, I was introduced to this product when makeup artist Khir Khalid recommended and used it on me during a small photo shoot for a magazine sometime back. I bought one and it ROCKS! I am now at my second bottle already! I can't live without it now ... sigh.

It's the Benefit Benetint! *applause applause* I love this stuff ... why ...?

• it's sooooo easy to use: just draw 2 crosses on your cheeks and dab-dab-dab with fingers, right after foundation is perfect, or even on bare skin.
• it smells soooooo GOOD! The scent perks me up, totally
• my husband has been sniffing my cheeks cos I smell like roses!
• it gives me a pretty stain of color that looks so natural
• it last longer than most powder blushers I know
  
• because applying powder blush sometimes can go wrong if you're too heavy handed with the brush
• I can still apply the powder blush over Benetint for contouring for more a more 'gala' look if I want to
  
• it's just 'water', no oil, not sticky, not like a gel or something gooey

If you think blushers are such a hassle, I seriously recommend this stuff. Works like a dream.

There is only one shade, but it works on all skin tones and skin types.

The price is rather steep but it can last me almost 2 to 3 months. You can get it @ RM149.00 at Paskson, Metrojaya and most good department stores in town.